Janus
by understudy
Summary: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. But who is who to Hermione? Eventually very bloody.R&R. Does not include events of HBP or DH, sort of a 'what if?
1. Old Beginnings

**AN: **I thought long and hard about whether or not to write this with events from HBP taken into account or not. I decided not. If you don't like the fact that Dumbledore lives then I'm sorry. +understudy

**disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. Wish I did, but I don't.

**Chapter I: Old Beginnings **

Just short of the barrier I paused, my parents could go no further. If there is one thing I do not like about being raised a muggle it is this: I am jealous of how Ron's family can follow him to the train. As I turned to face my parents I grinned. This is the last year I will have to do this.

"Now Hermione," my father began, "you have a lot of responsibility this year and your mum and I expect you to fulfill every expectation." He is a stern man, but I know he wants only the best for me.

Then it was mum's turn. "Dear, you've made us so proud these last few years; I know you'll do it again." Mum smiled, gathered me into a hug and whispered, "Don't forget your duty."

With one last smile at my parents, I stepped through the barrier onto Platform 9 ¾ to look for my friends.

"HERMIONE! OVER HERE!"

I grinned when I heard that voice. Ron always was a bit enthusiastic.

"Hermione!" he yelled again, running across the platform. "Harry and I were wondering if you would show up! We missed you this summer at the Burrow. Mum said that she didn't think you were very safe staying with your parents seeing as how they're muggles and all, but I guess you were!" He finished speaking as he reached me, then he tackled me. "It's so good to see you!" Harry followed soon after, having spanned the platform at a more leisurely pace.

"Have a good summer, Hermes?" He asked as he took his turn hugging me.

"It went well considering the circumstances," I replied. "Where's Ginny?" My question was answered as I was rammed from behind by the Gryffindor 6th year.

"WHAHOOOOAH!" the red-head screamed. "Come on you guys, let's go get a compartment." At this, I felt a bit uncomfortable. They didn't know.

"Guys, I can't ride with you." All three of them looked at me shocked. "Well, I made head girl and heads have their own compartment and all so I kind of have to sit there…." she trailed off.

"You're head girl!"

"I knew it!"

"Who's head boy?"

"You get your own apartment now, don't you?"

"Can we still skive class without you docking points?"

I laughed, "Yes, thanks, I don't know, yes and no Ronald, I will NOT let you skive class. See you at the feast!"

I boarded the train by myself, but I was happy just the same. Harry, Ron and Ginny are all good friends, but it is nice to get away from them sometimes. As I wandered towards the head of the train I let my mind drift. I wondered idly who the head boy would be, but the question was gone as soon as it came. I would find out soon in any case. Occasionally, a compartment door would be open and I would peek in. They were mostly occupied by first years who were hoping that more people would enter to keep them company. It made me smile; surely I was not like that as a first year. No, I was never unsure of myself. I never begged for friends. Either I had them or I didn't. It really didn't matter to me either way. Friends were transient in the long run, especially school friends. I no longer speak to anyone from my old muggle school and except for Harry and Ron, I never see anyone from Hogwarts outside of school. When it all comes down to it there is only me, and truth be told, I like it that way.

I snapped out of my reverie when I reached the end of the train and saw the plaque to the Heads' compartment. I paused for a moment, steeling myself against my own entrance. '_Stop being such a pussy, Hermes_,' I chided, '_might as well find out who the head boy is_.' With a sigh, I opened the door.

"Mudblood."

'_Oh, bloody hell. I get to live with Malfoy. Won't my parents be thrilled for me?'_

"Ferret!" I responded in a falsely cheerful voice. Then I sat down. The thing with Malfoy is he likes to bait. He was hoping I would do a classic book-worm Granger response and start lecturing him on the issue of blood-purity and how it doesn't matter. Fortunately for me, I don't rise to his bait unless necessary. Usually, I keep Harry and Ron from rising to it because they would end up breaking his pretty nose. I would have hated to see Malfoy dead before this year, because I know things that would make him squirm. And I plan on using them.


	2. The Usual

**Chapter II: The Usual**

I looked up at Malfoy to see him glaring at me. I just shook my head. Malfoy's problem was subtlety. He was crap at it. It was no secret to the entire population of Hogwarts that he hated muggle-borns. Everyone else in Slytherin did. The difference is, unless egged on by Malfoy, they tend to simply ignore the fact that we exist. He had so much wasted talent. If I could just get him to commit to our cause the possibilities would be endless. The real Malfoy may be a blunt jackass, but I know there's a leader in there somewhere. A leader we could use.

I guess I had been staring at him during my contemplation of his talents, because all of the sudden I hear:

"Listen, mudblood. I know I'm hot. I know that I'm probably the hottest guy you have ever seen. And I know that because you're a gopher-mouthed know-it-all with a crows nest for hair you will never get laid. But please try to refrain from using me in your sexual fantasies."

I'm not even going to grace that with a response, so I look away. By doing that I'm letting him think he's gotten to me. Oh well. We all have roles to play in life. Mine is the meek, smart, strict, prudish, ass-kissing friend of Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Not that I mind it too terribly. I did conform to the role. But if anyone from school saw me during the summer, they wouldn't know me. It's not that I put extra effort into my attitude and appearance during the summer, no; it's the fact that during the year I purposely downplay my good-looks and independent attitude. I don't really like the attention that goes along with it. During the summer I can escape attention. At school I can't. I've never liked getting attention.

My parents raised me to be an observer. You can't observe if someone else is watching you. Unfortunately, after coming to Hogwarts I fell in with Harry and Ron. They're not the best of friends to have if you were hoping to glide through school unnoticed. But my parents were happy with my choice of friends. In fact, they think I've got the best friends ever. I love making them proud.

I was unceremoniously pulled from my reverie as the train blew its whistle at the Hogsmeade station. That's the best thing about thinking; it always gets you there faster. I look around and see Malfoy's already gone. No doubt he didn't fancy spending more time with a _mudblood._ It's a good thing he left, though, because I still have to put on my robes.

I'm still finishing the knot on my tie as I step from the carriage to fulfill my head duties. Malfoy, the little git, is already on his way to the Heads' carriage. I take comfort in the fact that he can't leave without me. That could be why I'm taking so long to help the first years over to Hagrid. Or maybe I'm just slow. Yeah, right.

I finally Shepard the last first year over to Hagrid and walk nice and slowly up to the carriage—just to make sure Malfoy is good and pissed. I don't know if he's realized it yet, but I'm not putting up with his crap this year. I've worked my ass off to get to where I am in life and I won't let him ruin in. I have had a lot of expectations placed on me, more than Malfoy, and I've lived up to them. I deserve a break.

I ignored him as I entered the carriage. Didn't even look at him, but inside I was grinning. Malfoy hates being ignored.

"So, mudblood. Are you looking forward to living with me?"

I rolled my eyes. He really did hate being ignored, even if it was by me. I didn't respond and he spent the rest of the ride glaring at me.

We made it to the castle less than five minutes after the rest, but the way Malfoy went on you'd think we'd missed the feast. He hopped out almost before the carriage stopped and was at his seat in the Great Hall by the time I walked in. Ginny had saved me a seat next to her and I rushed over. People had begun to look at me because I was late. Like I said before, I hate the attention. I sat down and let out a sigh of relief. Harry opened his mouth to ask me a question, but was cut off by Dumbledore.

"Welcome! A new year begins and I have a few announcements before we tuck in. First off, I would like to announce as I do every year the Forbidden Forest is, as its name suggests, forbidden. Mr. Filch has asked me to inform you that all items purchased from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes have been added to the list items forbidden within the castle. The complete list has been bound into four tomes and moved to the library for anyone wishing to see it.

"Now moving on, I would like to introduce to you two new members of the faculty. Charlie Weasley will be taking over the Care of Magical Creatures post—"

"What the hell!" Ron interjected, "he never told me!"

"—as Rubeus Hagrid has family responsibilities in addition to his already substantial duties as gamekeeper." I looked across at Malfoy, he seemed unusually giddy. "We also have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Nymphadora Tonks has graciously agreed to give up her job as an auror to come teach. And last but not least, I am happy to announce that this year's Heads are non other than Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy." The Great Hall erupted and I shrank down blushing. "Those are all the announcements for now, I hope everyone enjoys their meal."

Immediately the tables filled with food and I began filling my plate. I was hungry and the house elves were the best cooks. I had gotten over S.P.E.W rather quickly. It was more of a spur of the moment thing than an actual cause.

"That's bad luck Herms," I grimaced, Ron was speaking through his mashed potatoes. "I mean," he swallowed, "you have to share a common room and stuff with him, don't you?"

"Yes, Ron. Thank you for reminding me. I was hoping to enjoy this feast, but I think I've lost my appetite." And then I pushed away my plate. Okay, so that was a bit harsh, but I can't stand it when someone talks with their mouth full. Besides they will all think I'm mad about Malfoy.

"Oh cheer up. If he does anything to hurt you, I'll curse him." I smiled; Ginny was pretty good with a curse. I realize suddenly that Harry hasn't said anything and I look over at him. He's glaring daggers at Malfoy.

"Harry, as much as I wish they could, looks cannot kill. So stop glaring at him." Harry knew who 'him' was. "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself you guys. But I'll be sure to let you know if he tries anything." I added the last bit in when I noticed Harry glaring at me.

Thankfully, it was then that McGonagall chose to rescue me from my rather protective friends.

"Miss Granger, you will follow me."

I smiled at everyone and with a quick "See you later" followed her out. Snape was waiting with Malfoy in the Entrance Hall. Yay. With a nod from McGonagall he re-entered the Great Hall, but only after sneering at me. McGonagall then started up the steps and motioned us to follow.

"Professor Dumbledore has great faith in your abilities to carry out the head duties. Do not disappoint him. You will have to cooperate with each other. Your anonymity is well known throughout the school and you are not expected to be best friends, or even to get along, but your duties must not suffer because you refuse to work together. You will patrol every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday night from 10:00 to 1:00. At one you will report to me any events. You are expected to organize events once a month for the entertainment….."

I zoned out. I knew the head duties by heart anyhow. Percy Weasley had told me everything back in third year. I didn't pay much attention to the route McGonagall was taking, something I might regret in the morning, but oh well. She stopped in front of a statue of hippogriff. I smiled.

"Here is the entrance to your common room. The password is 'honte soit qui mal y pense.'" Good one McGonagall. "I trust you can find your rooms on your own. Good night."


	3. The Truth

i'm going home today, sono updates for now. thanks to those of you who reviewed (you know who you are). +understudy

**Chapter III: The Truth**

The hippogriff had stepped aside at McGonagall's words and I was through it before she finished her farewell, Malfoy wasn't far behind, which was unfortunate, because I stopped dead and he ran into me. The common room was beautiful. There was a huge fireplace flanked by bookshelves to my right. On my left were more bookshelves built around the huge windows that gave a view of the lake. It looked like I wouldn't have to go to the library very much this year. Which means all that time I could be walking I would be reading. That's one thing that I really truly do love, reading. The subject matter just changes in the summer. Around the fireplace several couches and coffee tables were arranged and directly across from the entrance were two doors. Our rooms. And then…..Malfoy ruined the moment.

"Alright mudblood, here are the rules:" I smile at that; he thought _he _would be making the rules? Oh, this was going to be fun. "You will not be loud; I need quite at all times. I do not want to look at you more than possible, therefore if you are in a room when I enter it, you will leave. I do believe those are enough."

Then the bastard had the audacity to start walking away. I had put up with his shit for six years now, and I wasn't going to do it anymore. It was time to set him strait.

"Before you go Malfoy, I have some rules to establish as well."

"Mudblood." He turned to face me, "you will never say something like that again. I am the only one qualified to make rules. Mudbloods like you are incapable of taking care of yourselves. You need us. So try not to piss me off."

That pissed me off. I hadn't been sitting in my room all summer trying to avoid attack by Deatheater like Harry and Ron thought. There was a better reason for why I had not accepted my invitation to the Burrow. I had been training. My parents had seen to it. So with Malfoy within arms reach I put my training to use. I had him thrown against the wall and my hand at his throat before he reacted. I laughed, so much for seeker reflexes.

"No, Malfoy. It is _you_ who should try not to piss _me _off." I was hissing at him. Huh, I should have let the Sorting Hat put me in Slytherin. "Now the first rule of mine is this: within these common room halls you _will not _use the term mudblood. I am _not_ a mudblood, I am a Granala." His eyes widened. "Ah yes, you recognize the name don't you? You'll do well this year to remember that I have blood purer than yours. My second rule: _you _will do as _I_ say. In your own reasoning I am better than you. And my third rule: your behavior to me outside of this common room _will not alter._ It shouldn't be too hard for you to respect this rule. I imagine you hate me even more now. But if you slip up I _will_ hurt you. I can kill you over one hundred different ways _without magic._ And there are some methods I'm fairly itching to try. _Do NOT tempt me._" I lowered my arm and gave him one last stare; then I turned and walked towards my room. "Good night," I said just before I shut the door.

I had wanted to do that to him for years, but I wasn't intimidating enough until now. If I had done it earlier he would have blabbed. He won't say anything now; I had seen it in his eyes. He was scared and it amused me to know that it was me he was scared of. I sighed. He couldn't even tell dear old daddy. Lucius Malfoy wouldn't believe him, anyway. My family was supposedly killed by Voldemort. In fact, we weren't murdered, but it was the Dark Lord's fault that we had been living as muggles. But that's neither here nor there.

This was going to be a wonderful year.


	4. My Routine

**AN:** Ok, even I admit that this chapter in long and boring. Sorry. It does contain some important stuff though. I promise. +myunderstudy

**Chapter IV: My Routine**

_I love my life._

Admittedly, this is not usually the first thought that pops into my head in the morning. In fact, it doesn't run through there at all during the day. But today, despite the fact that I've just woken up five minutes before my alarm, my bed is situated in such a way that the sun is shining directly on my face (I forgot to pull the curtains), and the world's biggest git lives next door, I love my life. Because I've just remembered that I am head girl. I've my own room, and more importantly, I've my own bathroom. I've not got a curfew. I've an unlimited pass to Hogsmeade. I've unrestricted access to the restricted section of the library. I can be late to class without punishment. And, I can take points and assign detentions. That's the best part. I probably know the rules better than Dumbledore himself. The Slytherins will not know what happened. Come to think of it, Harry and Ron won't be exactly pleased.

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! SMASH!_

Unhhh. I was so busy feeling good for myself that I forgot to turn off my alarm. Well, I'm definitely awake now. I roll to the edge of my massive bed and get up. The work-out clothes I'd laid out last night are beckoning and I move to put them on. I used to run for fun, but this summer my parents had hired a personal trainer. He had planned a workout for me to do every morning at Hogwarts. He was going to give me a test over Christmas so I couldn't slack. Pity.

I peek into the common room to make sure the coast is clear before crossing it to the exit. I didn't really expect Malfoy to be up at five in the morning, but I could never be too sure. I didn't really want people to find out. I found my way down to the Entrance Hall easily enough, considering how well I was paying attention last night. The Heads' rooms are surprisingly close. That will make late night kitchen runs easier.

I've always enjoyed working out in the morning. It's still dark, but there's a freshness to everything. It all feels new. I step outside the Entrance Hall and began my stretches. Everyday except Tuesdays and Thursdays I do endurance and agility training. Those other two day are reserved for strength. I even work out on weekends. My parents say I have to be prepared; I won't always have my wand. I finish my stretches and sprint to the lake. It's all downhill, so my speed is only an illusion, but it's still faster than I usually go. I reach the lake and slow to a run, jogging is not allowed.

#f#

A full circuit around the lake is seven kilometers, and by the time I finish my two it's 5:45. I'll have to speed up, or I'll never get everything done. My trainer set me a weird course for the agility workout so I have to go up to the Room of Requirement in order to do it. I re-enter the castle and everything is still quiet. I can't believe no one is up. No wonder the Dark Lord is back, people spend all of there time asleep.

I get to the Room and pace in front of the door imagining the course I used all summer. Then I open the door and there it is. To call it an obstacle course would be…wrong. It starts out like one, though. I still have to do the whole run through the tires thing, the climb a wall thing, and all this rope stuff. But at one point I have to do stuff on some rings and a balance beam. Then I get to dodge tennis balls. Seriously, my trainer was insane. But whatever helps me beat Malfoy up.

#f#

I finish the course and it's 7:30. I either have to start getting up at 4:30 or get everything done faster. I'd rather get it done faster, but it looks like I'll be getting up earlier for the next few days. I hurry back to my room because I have to be in the Great Hall by 8:30 to help hand out Gryffindor timetables. Thank goodness, Malfoy's not in the common room when I get back; once again, I don't want him asking questions. I hurry over to my room and immediately begin stripping.

#f#

It's 8:20; I grab my stuff and bolt. Right now I don't care where Malfoy is, I just don't want to be late. It's a good thing that I don't bother with conditioner or make-up at Hogwarts, or else I would have missed the start of class, but as it is, I reach the Great Hall at 8:29. Hah! Early! The Gryffindor prefects are already huddled around McGonagall getting instructions when I walk up. She gives me a look, and I give her a look right back. I don't care. I've already gotten head girl, so no more ass-kissing for me.

Except…I promised my parents that I would do my duty, so I drop my eyes and put on a sheepish expression. McGonagall can't be mad for long at her prize pupil. And, I'm right. That is a distinct smile I see as she hands me my timetable and all those of the seventh years. I walk quickly down to the far end of the table, as far from the staff table that you can get, where all the Gryffindor seventh years and specially inducted trouble makers sit. It's NEWT year and they're all going to be absolutely thrilled with their classes.

I hand Parvati hers first, and the groan she lets out is echoed as I hand timetables to Lavender, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Harry and Ron. Then I look at mine.

_Unnnnnh._

Seems I was a tad ambitious. I've double Potions every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at nine. But, I look over Harry and Ron's shoulders and see that I won't be alone. Speaking of….

"Harry! Ron! Snape will have our heads if we're late!"

The look of horror I receive is probably reflected on my face, but that doesn't slow us down. We reach the dungeon winded, but before Snape.

#f#

"Kill me NOW!" That was Ron, but I'm thinking it. Snape is a sadist. But, back to Ron. Neville isn't in NEWT potions. Something about being afraid of the professor. Anyhow, Snape now needed a new…victim. And it seems that poor Ron is the target. This one short lesson has led me to believe that Neville was never as hopeless in potions as everyone thought. I thought the Ron would faint when Snape glared at him. He took 50 points from Gryffindor today because Ron kept whimpering.

I have a feeling that Snape's mood is not going to improve this year.

#f#

Merlin, I hate Mondays. After double potions I had to sit at lunch and listen to Harry and Ron bitch about double potions, because of course I wanted to relive every moment. Then I had the absolute joy of advanced charms…where I learned that we are going to learn all the stuff that a) I have either taught myself or b) Harry taught in the DA. Then I had another double period: of Herbology. I HATE Herbology. But here's to not limiting my options.

I was in such a bad mood at dinner that I took points from Harry and Ron for asking why I was upset. But then I remembered that a rift between us was _not_ on my agenda. So, I quickly gave them back, plus a few extra for being such good friends. Then I told them I was on the rag and to expect a few mood swings. Boys will believe anything you tell them about your period simply because they don't want to know.

The highlight of my day was actually when I got back to my common room and saw Malfoy on the sofa. The way he jumped up and scampered over to his room was so reminiscent of fourth year.

At least one thing is going to amuse me this year.


	5. Baby Steps

**AN:** I really care for this chapter either, but it's nessecary that I write it so I can move on to the stuff that I do want to write. Besides, it's much more fun than studying for finals. +understudy

**Chapter V: Baby Steps**

_I mustn't fail. I mustn't fail. I mustn't fail._

This is my new mantra. It's running through my head over and over and over as I do my strength training. It's a hard routine, but that's not what I'm talking about. I've been working towards my destiny for over seven years now, and I almost slipped up yesterday. The summer Hermione was trying to break through and I can't let her. I'm too close to my goal. I have to keep up this façade for one more year. It will all be over then, earlier if I don't keep myself in line. No one can know that I am capable of independent thought. Until this stupid war with the Dark Lord is over I will remain how I am. No need to draw any more attention to myself.

#f#

"Morning, Herms. Feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you Harry. I was a tad out of it yesterday. I'm sorry for snapping at you." I try my best to look apologetic as I sit down. "Where's Ron?"

"Morning detention with Snape. Man's reached new lows."

I nod and begin to butter some toast. If yesterday's lesson was any indication, we won't be eating breakfast with Ron quite often this year. I'll have to thank Snape every time Ron gets a morning detention. Without him here speaking with his mouth full I'll actually be able to eat.

"At least today's schedule looks better than yesterday's. What have you got while I'm in Ancient Runes and Arithmancy?"

"History of Magic and Astronomy. I dropped divination, finally, and I don't really need Muggle Studies, do I? So all that was left were those two. I wish I had taken Ancient Runes and Arithmancy with you."

I almost wanted to laugh at the look on Harry's face, but I managed a look of pity before asking, "Is Ron taking Muggle Studies? He could use it."

"Yah. He ditched Astronomy for it."

"Well Harry, we better be off to Transfiguration. Wouldn't want to be late." I was tired of talking about classes. I really don't enjoy them as much as I let on. And today looked like the day from Hell. Some genius in scheduling had decided to give seventh years five classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. As a result, class starts at 8:00. Which means I have to get up at four. Oh joy.

#f#

Five hours later and Ron's now joined us at the Gryffindor table. After Transfiguration, we all went our separate ways for class. Ever since third year, when we first got the chance to choose classes, I've enjoyed getting away from those two. It's nice to have a class where they can't ask to see the homework. It's going to be harder to do so this year even in the classes we do have together, what with Tonks and Charlie teaching now. Dumbledore is really upping the presence of the Order here. I don't know what he's worried about. The Dark Lord would be foolish to attack the school and knows it. There is too much ancient magic protecting Hogwarts. First off, it's impossible to apparate or disapparate within the grounds, and that totally rules out a surprise attack. No, an attack is more likely to come at Kings Cross or Hogsmeade. Honestly, I thought Dumbledore was smart enough to realize that, but I hardly noticed any security while boarding the train and there were Death Eaters galore seeing their kids off.

"HERMIONE!"

I jump. I was too caught up in my thoughts to notice the time, and Harry and Ron are now making it quite well known that if I don't hurry up I will make us all late to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Silly waste of time class, but I have to go.

#f#

Even though they are Order members that would be put to better use elsewhere, I am glad that Tonks and Charlie are here. They're both interesting and infinitely better at teaching than their predecessors. Come to think of it, they're probably here to help recruit for the Order, not to protect the school, and that reminds me that I have my own recruiting to do. I came to school with a very specific purpose and that was to get Malfoy.

Speak of the Devil, the boy just walked into the common room. He's seen me and is walking at an unnatural pace towards his door.

"I don't bite Malfoy." He pauses. "You didn't have a problem speaking to me our first six years. What makes this year any different? Do you have nothing to say now that you can't call me a mudblood? Or is it that you're scared of me? Is that it Malfoy?" I stand up and make towards him. "You know now that I am capable of taking care of myself, I am, in fact, your better. Does this make you uncomfortable?" I'm standing right in front of him now. "Would it comfort you to know that not even Harry and Ron know I am a pureblood?" There it is again, that look of shock that I have come to love graces his face. "You know one of my greatest secrets, Malfoy. I trust you will keep my confidence, so I will tell you one more thing: I will not have a roommate who ignores my presence. I exist and as much as that troubles you, I expect to be acknowledged. I'm not asking you to be my friend, because I don't want to be yours, but you will say 'hello' when we cross in the common room. Is that clear?" He nods. "However, you will continue to call me a mudblood and deride me outside of this room. It shouldn't be too hard for you; you've had plenty of practice at it. Goodnight." And off I go to my room.


	6. Hermione Revealed

**AN:** It's dead week at school, which means no homework. So I could either be studying for finals or writing. Guess which one I'm doing? With luck I'll update one more time this week. +understudy

**Chapter VI: Hermione Revealed**

I really do loathe school. It really is the only way I can describe my absolute and eternal hatred of Hogwarts. I've known my entire life that I would have to attend this loathsome place. If my parents had not been forced to live as muggles they would have hired a private tutor and I would have been finished with my education by now. But instead I'm stuck here. And I hate it. Every day I wake up at four in the morning to face the same monotony. After my workouts I must revert to a subservient, pathetic, simpering, witless, spineless, know-it-all, faithful bitch to Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Hermione must always eat with Harry and Ron. Hermione must always follow them around dutifully wherever they go. Hermione must always help Harry and Ron with their homework; if she doesn't do it outright. Hermione is not allowed to have her own opinions, she must agree with whatever Harry and Ron say. In short, Hermione is Harry and Ron's "yes" girl. Hermione is Harry and Ron's Homework Helper. Hermione...fuck it. Hermione is tired of it all.

But I can't do anything! FUCK! I'm going to drive myself insane! Why can't this war hurry up and be over so I can be me? I'm tired of pretending. I've been doing it my entire life. I want to make real friends. Errrrrrrgh! Nothing is going right. It's mid-November and I haven't broken through to Malfoy. I have to get to him before he leaves for Christmas break, it's the only way. And we _need_ him. I don't know if any of the others realize just how vital he could be to this war; we need to be sure of his loyalties.

Plus there were some attacks last weekend in Hogsmeade. It has taken Ron and me all of our effort to keep Harry from running off to find the Dark Lord right now. He just isn't ready yet. The time will come. Harry just doesn't realize the need to wait. The final confrontation cannot come until after the end of the school year. I need to keep Harry in check. And on top of that I have my blasted head girl duties. Malfoy and I still have those monthly socials we have to plan. They usually fall to me though. I'll go over and ask Malfoy what he thinks of my ideas, and he'll just shrug.

I keep receiving owls from my parents asking for my progress, but what can I tell them? I feel so inept. It was so much easier up until now. It would all be ok if I could just get Malfoy to _talk_ to me. But he refuses to. He says 'good morning' and 'good evening' like I told him to, but that is it. Every time I approach him, even on topics as mundane as schoolwork, he shrugs me off with an "I really need to finish this. We can talk later." But later never comes. I can't bully him into talking to me like I have before, it wouldn't work. I know he's expecting me to do something like that, and he's ready for it. I have to catch him off guard. The only problem is he's a Malfoy—they are always on their guard.

I'm so glad it's a Friday night. I've already made my excuses to Harry and Ron. I've told them that I want to get a head start on a killer potions essay Snape gave us. Then, in order to make it clear that I won't be seeing them all weekend, I made up 6 feet essays in both Arithmancy and Ancient Runes and told them Malfoy and I had another social to plan, they are too daft to remember that I've told them that I've planned them all out for the rest of the year already.

"Honte soi qui mal y pense," I mutter, and the hippogriff steps aside to reveal, surprise surprise: my common room. I step quickly through the door and as it snaps closed behind me, I do receive a surprise.

"Turn around and leave or hurry up and get to your room, just get out of here." So Malfoy _is_ capable of speech. I look over to the fireplace where he is sitting and holding a letter. This is what I focus on, the letter. It has the official Malfoy crest on it, which means that his mother did not send it to him. It has to be from his father, and his father only writes him when it concerns the Dark Lord. This can only mean one thing…

"I'm not going anywhere Malfoy. This is my common room as well. If you really wanted to be alone you would have gone to your room. No, I think you were waiting for me. You knew the best way to get me to talk to you was to try and dismiss me. So, here I am, I'm talking to you." I walk across the room to sit across from him, by doing so I catch a glance at the letter. It is most definitely from his father. "And to make things easier on you, I'll even start us off. Your father has just written you to tell you that the Dark Lord will be receiving you into his service on the 25th of December. Am I correct?"

I must admit, his reaction is not what I expected. He looks at me for a few seconds, and it's bizarre because it's like he's seeing me for the first time. Then he looks back at the letter. Without raising his eyes he softly asks, "How did you know?"

"That question is irrelevant at the moment. Look at me." He lifts his head and looks me straight in the eye. "Do you _want_ to be a Death Eater? Consider it carefully Draco, and answer me honestly. This conversation will not leave these walls. You have my word."

I can tell that he had never really thought about _wanting_ to serve to Dark Lord. He had always assumed that he would. This is a common misconception of the Dark Lord's followers. He doesn't want some mindless drones serving Him. He wants independent thinkers who share His ideas. The willing are much easier to work with. That is why any Death Eater knows that the Imperius defense is baseless.

"Yes. I want to be a Death Eater." I let out a sigh of relief. Good. The first step was made, but I still had to make sure.

"Draco, I need to know your reasons why."

"Because muggles and mudbloods are truly inferior. I will be honest. I had my doubts. After I came to school, I had a hard time believing that mudbloods were inferior because of you. Then I found out that the reason you consistently beat me was because you are a pureblood. If you look around this school, it is the purebloods that are at the heads of the classes. The mudbloods are only here because of that stupid muggle-loving git Dumbledore. I've been into muggle London a few times, without permission of course, and the muggles are so inconsiderate of each other and their environment. They are slowly killing themselves and everything around them. I've come to realize that muggles _need_ us. They are incapable of taking care of themselves. If it weren't for us they would have already driven themselves to extinction. After all, it has been the squibs and other wizards we've sent them such as William the Conqueror, Robert the Bruce, William and Mary, Churchill and others that have kept them together. Wizard kind has given them fire and even taught them simple potions such as the cold potion they use all the time now. And we need to help them if we are to survive. Muggles breed like rabbits, and they will overrun and destroy the planet if something is not done to help. They cannot function without us pushing them here and there. We wizards need to step in and formally take charge of their lives. Both Salazaar Slytherin realized and the Dark Lord realizes that muggles need wizard masters. But the only way we can do this is by getting rid of those who would keep our society secret. This war is simply a necessary step in the progress of wizarding kind."

I nod. His reasoning is sound; it is not likely he will change his mind. But agreeing with the philosophy does not mean he is Death Eater material. Becoming a Death Eater means he is permanently choosing a side and he must be able and willing to defend his position.

"Draco." He looks up from the fire that he had been staring into during his relation of his beliefs. "Have you ever killed someone?"

He stared at me in disbelief. "What sort of a question is that?"

"A good one. I'll take the answer as 'no'?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. I have killed. You do know that the Ministry of Magic cannot actually detect who is doing magic, right? Only the location of said magic?" I nod. "Well, I've been doing magic at home since I was 8. After first year, my father started to take me out on a few of his….jaunts. I have killed Hermione. I have killed many times."

"Good. You will serve the Dark Lord well." And I rise from my chair.

"Hermione." His voice has lost that conversational tone, not good. I sit back down. "I'm going to have to obliviate you now. I don't believe you will tell anyone about this conversation on purpose. But I know how close you are to Potter and Weasley, and I can't have you slipping up."

I sighed. I was hoping to ease into the rest of everything, but if I want to keep my memory it looks like I'm just going to have to tell him everything. Hopefully he'll be receptive.

"Draco, you don't need or want to obliviate me."

"Oh really?" I can _hear _the sneer in his voice and while scary, it's nice to know the old Malfoy is back. "And why is that?"

"You don't need to because I will tell no one, and you don't want to because the Dark Lord would not be pleased." He just stared at me. "Oh come off it Draco. Haven't you figured it out yet?" I stand, shrug off my robe and approach his chair. He eyes me suspiciously and reaches for his wand, but I raise my hands to show that I am unarmed. He relaxes and I continue to reach over and roll up my shirt sleeve. I then display my bare arm for a very surprised Draco Malfoy. "I am a Death Eater. I have been since I was 14. Why do you think I knew about December's ceremony? The Order spies are not _that _good. The summer before first year, the remnants of the Dark Lord's followers inducted me and He gave me the Mark as soon as He returned. My family began to live as muggles shortly before His disappearance. It was made out that He had murdered us, but they were in fact sent away to raise me as a spy. Who would ever suspect a mudblood witch of being a Death Eater? No one. That's why no one knows who I am. I came to Hogwarts with the idea of being put in Gryffindor. I told the Sorting Hat where to put me and it obeyed. I came knowing I had to get in with Dumbledore and the rest. And I have. As soon as we graduate I will be inducted as a full member of the Order and my already substantial work for the Dark Lord will become even more important."

I had wanted to wait before revealing all of this to him. But now I'm glad it's over with. We now have the entire weekend to discuss the Dark Lord's plans. It may take some coaxing in order to get Draco to agree to his role. Being a double agent is no easy task.


	7. Draco's Task

**Chapter VII: Draco's Task**

Today is going to be a good day. I hope. I didn't really get a chance to gauge Draco's reaction to my revelation as I left the room directly afterwards. But it's now 5:30, I've done my workout and I think he's had long enough to think about it. I stand up and almost run to my door. I cross the common room at a slightly more leisurely pace and knock on Draco's door. No sign of life. Sigh, I turn to go, then I hear:

"Granger? Is that you?"

"No. It's the Tooth Fairy. Of course it's me you twit. Only McGonagall has our password and I would hate to think of why she would be knocking on your door this early." The door opens a few inches and his head pokes out.

"I would hate to think of why _you_ are knocking on my door this early. Do you have any idea what time it is? Are you insane?"

"Yes I am insane, insanely bored. I've been up since four. Now open up, I've some stuff to talk to you about."

He hesitated a moment and opened his door. Wow. This kid can decorate. It's hard having to be in Gryffindor. Everybody expects your favorite colors to be scarlet and gold. If I were to decorate my room in green and silver like Draco, everyone would think I'd gone bonkers. Humph. I should be able to make my room black without people thinking I need to be psychoanalyzed. My mood is slightly dampened by the fact that Draco has a cooler room, but as I plop down onto his bed it improves. My mattress is softer. He shuffles over and gets back under his covers.

"What is so important that you need to wake me up this early?" I see a scowl. Draco is definitely _not_ a morning person.

"Well, you of course remember last night's conversation." He's awake now. "Have you ever considered taking a more active role in the war? Have you ever thought about what you would do in order to bring about a swift change of regime? Are you willing to do all in your power to insure the Dark Lord's complete dominance over the wizarding world?"

He just stares at me. Maybe I didn't give him enough time to digest last night's discussion. Well, too late now. I need him to know what he's going to do so he can go do it. I give him a questioning look, as if to say 'well?'

"Yes. To all of them. And I have a feeling that you can tell me exactly what I can do."

"Oh Drakie-pooh!" That's a wince. "You're good! Seriously though, would you like to become a spy? You would be the perfect turncoat. Now that you've received the letter from your father the timing is very delicate. So answer me now, would you like to work with me as a spy for the Dark Lord?" He's kind of cute when he's thinking.

"What do I have to do?" I may just love him.

"Do you feel you can tell Professor Snape anything?"

"Of course, He's a Death Eater, which makes me wonder why he treats you so poorly. He's usually very soft on us."

"That's because Snape does not know I am a Death Eater. Only my parents, the Dark Lord, and now you do. When you go to him you _will not_ _mention me._ Do you understand that? Snape is an Order spy. He has been since before the Dark Lord's disappearance." His eyes widened in shock. "Don't ask me why he turned, I don't know. Everyone knows that he is a spy, but the Dark Lord keeps him alive because he is still useful. You will go to Snape and show him that letter. Say you received it early this morning. You will then tell him that you don't agree with the Dark Lord and you don't want all the mudbloods dead. Feed him anything, so long as it's plausible. Tell him you don't know what to do because you don't want your family harmed on your account. If he doesn't come up with the idea of you becoming a spy on his own accord you will nudge him towards that conclusion. Be careful, he is well versed in Legimancy. Have you ever been trained in Occulmancy?" He nods, thank Merlin. "Good, use it. He will probably at some point ask if you want something to drink, accept it. There will probably be Veritaserum in it. Drink it. If you are aware of the administration of Veritaserum, you can diminish and even negate its effects. He will be trying to figure out how true you are almost from the beginning. Do not give him any reason to suspect. If all goes well he should take you to Dumbledore. Any questions?"

"Yeah. How do I fool Dumbledore?"

"No need to fool a fool. If Snape believes you, Dumbledore is convinced. He may look you in the eye and ask if you're sure. Look him right back and say 'yes'. Dumbledore's downfall will be his belief and trust in others. The truth is there are very few people you can trust. I am one of them. The Dark Lord and my parents are the others. I fought very much to get this opportunity for you. Do not make me regret it. I trust that you will carry it out without the least suspicion. Before you get into it though, I must warn you. If you are caught, I cannot and will not come to your aid. This is a lonely business, but when it is over our rewards will make it well worth your while. Once you are accepted into the Order I will not speak to you unless forced. Never right anything down. I know you have an excellent memory, use it. We are working at this from two opposite sides, but we must work together. It's 6:30; you should go. Bang on his door, make it seem urgent. Pretend like you don't know what to do. I'm sure you get the idea. Good luck."

I rise from his bed and pull his covers off of him. He stands up and walks over to his chest of drawers.

"No. Go in your nightclothes, it will seem more believable." He nods and heads for the door. Then he pause with his hand on the doorknob.

"I forgot the letter."

I sigh inwardly, but remain composed as he turns back to the chest, grabs the letter and walks out the door. Now I have only to wait.


	8. And So It Begins

**Chapter VIII: And So It Begins**

You know what it's like when you have a secret and you can't tell anyone because, obviously, it's a secret? But you want to tell someone because how else will anybody know how good you are at keeping secrets? If there are two people in on it, it's not that bad. At least someone knows. But a secret between someone and their split personality sucks. The thing is; I'm not sure that a secret between me and Draco Malfoy is any better. Even though he now knows I am not a mudblood, I don't believe his feelings towards me will change. The reason for an emotions disappearance does not necessarily negate the emotion. In fact, I believe he may begin to hate me more. Draco Malfoy has always prided himself on knowledge and knowing that I knew something he didn't may just take that place of the hating me because I was a mudblood.

But I hope that he doesn't decide to keep on hating me. I need someone to talk with. Not a friend. Not a confident. These words imply a certain weakness in the dependence on others. I just need someone with whom I can carry on a decent conversation; every opportunity for a decent conversation ends when I leave my parents at the end of the summer.

It's only six-thirty in the morning. On a Saturday. I don't remember the last time I was able to sleep in and Malfoy's bed is looking extremely inviting….especially because it has only recently been vacated and it probably still contains some vestiges of its owner's warmth. Hmmmmm. I think I will nap….who knows when he will return?

#f#

"Granger, wake the fuck up."

"No."

"Wouldn't you like to hear about the newest member of Order of the Phoenix?" I could hear the smirk in his voice and I hate to rise to his bait so early in our working relationship, but I am so very curious as to how it went. So I sit up. There's no way I'm getting out of the bed; it's too warm.

"I can only assume this new member you speak of is yourself. You are, after all, back in your dorm and not in Azkaban as any other known Deatheater would be. This also indicates to me that you had no trouble relaying your change of heart to both Snape and Dumbledore?" I allowed me last sentence to form into a question, no need to keep alienating him by stealing his thunder.

He nodded. "You were right, about everything." I could see this was hard for him to admit. "He gave me some tea almost as soon as I got there, and I drank it. I souldn't feel him in my head though, so the tea was definitely laced. And Snape didn't really let on about the Order until I confessed my 'doubts' about the validity and correctness of the Dark Lord's views and actions. He asked me about my doubts and I said some shit about mudbloods and muggles being people too, and me not wanting to kill people, and how war was wrong. Then he just stood up and told me to follow him and he took me to Dumbledore. I repeated all this to the old man and he just looked at me. It was kind of creepy, but then he told me he believed me. Didn't ask me any more questions, just took Snape's word." Malfoy paused for a moment, no doubt remembering that piercing look. It had taken me awhile to get over the way Dumbledore's eyes seemed to bore into me. I just have to remind myself that simply because the man has remarkable eyes doesn't mean he can read people with them. "—so I assured him that I would like to do something about it." Whoops zoned out there. "He told me then about the Order and that the best way to aid them was to get the Dark Mark and make the Dark Lord believe I was his man. He said he would talk to me again after the Holidays"

"So it is done? Then you have the Headmaster's trust?" Malfoy nodded, and I decided to finally get out of his bed. "Good, no doubt he will tell me before ever broaching the subject with Harry and Ron." I began to walk towards the door; then I paused. "Or maybe we will all be informed at once during an Order meeting." I frowned to myself and continued towards the door, muttering the last few lines to myself: "The old fool. The trusting and open way in which he receives people, the way that makes him the darling of the wizarding world will be the way of his downfall." I'm not sure if Malfoy heard me.

#f#

Five hours later and I'm still doing my requisite duty as best friend to Harry Potter and Ron Weasely. Merlin, they are so dull. But today, I can't say that I mind. I've been 'reading', per usual, while they hold their ever exciting conversation about Quidditch. To be truthful, which I rarely am, I haven't turned a page in over two hours. I've been thinking, wondering over my next move. The only specific instructions I'd been given were to monitor Malfoy and approach him with the proposition when the time was right, and I had completed that task. I do have the ever constant privilege of spying on the magnificent Harry Potter, but this has become routine and boring over the last six years. I thrive on excitement, mystery, intrigue, danger, and risk. Things a spy actually sees very little of.

Five o'clock, I think I can safely make my exit.

#f#

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_I have done my duty. The target received the letter yesterday, and I confronted them about it. I sent them to see Snivellous who took them to the man up the gargoyle stairs. Please inform the boss that the target is now in the club and will aid me in my work. It took longer than hoped, but the end result was achieved with relatively little trouble. Although, I was forced to reveal myself to keep from being obliviated. There continue to be no new developments as concerns the long-term mission. I expect to hear nothing until the Christmas holidays. I will keep you informed as usual. Please give my regards and vow of continued loyalty to the boss. _

_Your Loving and Obedient Daughter,_

_H. Granala_

I re-read the letter before attaching it to a school owl. It wasn't especially cryptic, but it was enough. My parents being known muggles and me using my real name would be enough to keep suspicion away from us. The only two people who could be positively identified from it were Snape and Dumbledore and even if someone did figure out the target was Malfoy, no one would harm him. The Dark Lord knew he was a servant, and Dumbledore was blind.

As I watch the owl fly away I wonder how long they will take to get back to me. I know that before they respond they will meet with the Dark Lord. He would then ponder the next move for a few days, meet again with my parents and I would more than likely receive the assignment to just wait until the next Order meeting and send news. But now there were two of us. Who would Malfoy get his orders from? Certainly not Snape, he could not know of Malfoy's very special circumstances. Nor his parents or they would have to be informed of my role in all of this. The Dark Lord had never even given me my orders directly, and I had only seen him once—on the night I received my Mark. So would Malfoy receive his instructions directly from my parents? Or would I be the one to relay them. Am I Malfoy's handler?


End file.
